Being younger I was very excited for New Year's eve. Needless to say that has not changed! Every year, like many others, I set goals and resolutions which, lets be honest, are mostly forgotten by time January ends (lol).
To sum up 2018, I would say that it has been a year of realization. I would be lying if I said that this year was great but it was not the worst either. I guess I can't really label it.
This new year I have thought about being a bit more honest with myself and set realistic goals and resolutions which I know I will end up following through with.
Among the things I want to do this new year is read more. I love to read and recently I realized that I have missed it so much! My goal is to read 12 new books in the whole year (which I feel is easily attainable)
Another thing I want to do is study harder. I become lazy when it comes to studying most of the time and I end up not feeling like it. During my exams I realized that the only thing stopping me from studying is myself.
Lastly I want to be myself. I do not want validation from others and I don't HAVE to be accepted by everyone. Only person I need validation from is Myself. I should be able to be happy with my decisions. I should follow through with what I say. I should be me.
In all honesty, I realized throughout the year that I'm the only one holding myself back from doing things I want to do. I always have an excuse for things. I would either think "wait for the right time", "i do not feel like it", "what will people say" etc. I ended up not being true to myself in the process which is not something I ever want to be. I tried being a people-pleaser because I wanted people to be happy with me and I thought I would be accepted. It didn't work out. I ended up being constantly worried.
I truly believe that 50% of making my year good is in my own hands. The other 50% is in Allah's. 25% will be good and 25% will be a challenge. Might as well make my half good and adding the 25% not in my hand, 75% of my year will be good. That is alot!
In all, I'm grateful for 2018. I learned alot and for 2019, I am hopeful
Lots of love!
Maheen <3
